It seems to pop up every so often.

Sometimes it carries the bland formality of a form letter. “Dear sir or madam”. Or a concerned older person worried there might have been some kind of accident. Or the morally righteous. Or those who “just don’t think it’s needed, that’s all”, which I always imagine being said in Martin Freeman’s voice for some reason.

I’m talking, of course, about the requests, demands, tut-tuts and head shakes regarding my use of expletives on this blog.

It’s tiresome. So here, once and for all, is my response:

Fuck You

Did you walk out of the theater in disgust when Matt Damon proclaimed “I’m going to have to science the shit out of this”?

Do you basically enjoy no stand up comedy of any kind?

You poor soul.

Fuck You

We have all kinds of actual, real problems facing us in the world. Big fucking problems. Climate change and income inequality and the precarious teetering of the world economy and the rise of far-right strongman nationalist governments around the world.

Oh well, better bitch about a few shits and fucks thrown around on a modeling blog.

Fuck You

Here’s the thing. In the most reductionist terms, I write for a living. And when I write for clients, I get to do super-fun things like adopt their brand voice and refer to their style guide and adhere to their messaging architecture.

I love it. But it can be a bit stifling.

That’s part of why I started this blog several years ago. Yeah, it was mostly my little corner of the internet where I could geek out about models, but it was also a sandbox. A place where I didn’t – and don’t – have to adhere to some other brand voice or editorial style. Where I can play and try things that clients are often too hesitant to go for. Where I can plan how I want, write how I want, and not have to balance an editorial calendar against the editorial calendars of five other divisions and six other agencies.

A place where I can do whatever the fuck I want.

So, in the words of the great Rage Against the Machine,

Fuck you I won’t do what you tell me.

And now, back to our regularly scheduled programming.

34 Comments Add yours

  1. John Everett says:


    If we get layovers in AUS again, I will buy you lunch and you can tell me to go fuck myself over a burrito and a Diet Coke.

    That’s the best laugh I’ve had in a few days.

  2. willpattison says:

    this is out fucking standing. I get really sick and tired of the pretentious, entitled, presumptuous assholes who think it’s their job to tell everyone to speak in a way they feel is appropriate. What’s really great are the twats who say silly things like “usirng profanity makes you seem dumb”. Me and my masters degree in mechanical engineering wish you a happy go fuck yourself.

    1. Kaspa del Diablo says:

      A tasty fusion concoction of pathological hypocrisy and narcissistic personality disorder all in one. Nicely done!

  3. Tomcatkzn says:

    Well fucking said Sir, Ditto, Exactly what the fuck willpattison said!

  4. scoots says:

    Well said and well done…if you don’t like it switch off…..simple……..

  5. ricwalters says:

    Haha… and a tip of the hat to you. Well put.

  6. Milan says:

    I simply love the messaging architecture of this blogpost!

  7. Cristian says:

    I’m not using strong words all that often but I respect everyone’s right to use or leave them. I’m mature enough to fly over those words and not complain when you use them and concentrate on the content you deliver.

    Nonetheless, this post is rudeness for the sake of it. Go ahead, put me in one of your categories, offend me for not having the same mindset as you (if I could only remember where I saw that attitude lately… was something politics related, I think…) but it won’t change my mind.

    You decided to write for a large audience, even take money for doing it so how about dealing with the consequences in the same professional manner!? The content you deliver usually ranks in the upper half of the blogging spheres. As far as I’m concerned, you’re not in need of (extensive!) controversial language to edge out other authors… But it’s not up to me to make that decision for you!

  8. John McElwain says:

    As a former infantryman I have an extensive blue vocabulary; but pick and choose where and when I resort to it. It’s not really about people being offended by profane language.It’s about respect. I don’t refrain from profanity in certain circumstances because someone thinks I should or because there are rules against it. I refrain from profanity to show my respect for those with whom I intend to be communicating. What makes it respectful is that it’s voluntary.

    1. Cristian says:

      That sums it up perfectly! Thank you!!!

  9. mostrich says:

    I can’t get over the bigotry of some people. Calling themselves godly men who willingly accept death penalty in their country and fight against any kind of health care because it’s “communism”, hoarding shitloads of weapons in the same house they raise their children in (for safety reasons, ha!) and at the end of the day they go bananas due to a swearing blogger.
    Europe with all its different cultures is strange, but you guys nailed it! 🙂

    Still I’m full of love for all you mammals,
    Torben (stupid German)

    1. John G says:

      Passive-aggressive much Torben?
      John (educated, informed American)

      1. mostrich says:

        Didn’t mean to generalize here. Maybe I wrote still under shock of certain political events. The intention was more cynical than (passiv) aggressive. My apologies for being vague.

    2. Doogs says:

      Actually I believe many of the complaints come from Europeans – mostly Brits. But yes, the US has many fascinating contradictions. And by fascinating I mean depressing and horrifying.

      1. Joe Blogs says:

        You get complaints from us Brits about bad language…Really??? That surprises me a lot – most of us British have a very wide and diverse vocabulary that would make Dockers blush.

        At the end of the day – it’s your website so you can write what you want – Screw the rest.

      2. As long as one is grammatically correct, one can say what the fuck one wants

  10. ALR-MACS says:

    Well said sir. Cheers from across the atlantic.

  11. Bob says:

    Oh my ears! The wax just got cleaned out and now I’m going to actually hear all the Bullshit I usually miss during the day! Keep saying those things a lot of people just might wish they could say, and making us smile. ROTFLMFAO

  12. Mark says:

    well said, say it how it is. Keep up the great work.

  13. Michael Satin says:

    Well, fuck you too. Wow, I feel better already! Keep it up, man!


  14. igluefingers says:

    My Dad was a Navy Man…he cuss’d….I and most of my friends are/were military…they cuss. I spent 25 years in the Nuclear Power construction industry.. I cuss. However I do limit what I say according to the company of folks I am around . Around Bikers or Brick Masons..I freely use the FU or Mudder FU words with increasing regularity as we each try to obstinately out-do the other with with wonderfully colorful words of expression. And enjoy doing so with regularity. Around Ladies and folk of more virgin ears and sheltered lives I do tend to limit it and keep it under control.
    Someone said it was unprofessional….in certain venues I tend to agree……

    But other than that?

    HEY!!! Fuck you you frog faced cocksucker!…….. Anyway…have a nice fucking day dip shit!

  15. Lloyd Hall says:

    You go Dude!!!

  16. billwell says:

    I love it,,,,,,,,,,,,,, way to go “D”

  17. Chris Mears says:

    Don’t change a thing. I’d miss it too much.

  18. Ted Briscoe says:

    Things would be so much better if Hillary would have won. We’d have Bill at his age licking (due to his age) every female he could, living the “life” on our dime, screwing the people of the US and…….I digress, we’ve already done that. So all we have is good old Doog to get a spark going with his salty language, my how we focus on small issues. My mother told me at a young age…….if you don’t like how a person behaves, stay away from them. If you don’t like what’s on TV…change the channel. but if they physically threaten or touch you……… had better kick their ass!! I don’t believe that Doog has done that, so….find another site you if you have concerns about this one. But if you want to get another persons FREE viewpoint on the modeling industry and learn something in the process, then make a cocktail, relax and stay tuned.

  19. Olli ( another german ) says:

    I just Love your Blog, the expressive Language is just one of the refreshing Things i Love about it ! Tired of having Access to a shitload of Big Data These days without someone you can Talk Shit about it, You Are like an older Brother/ Buddy everyone is Lookin for These days but cant find it because everyone is living his anonymous Internet life!

  20. Eric Westra says:

    Fucking A Bubba👍

  21. Brad Hurley says:

    Glad to se you give a fuck about climate change !! 😉

  22. Robbie Dinglasan says:

    Out-Fuckin-Standing you Magnificent Bastard.

    Like many have expressed this is not one those “safe spaces” and seriously if one can’t see the quality of the content here past the profanity then by all means switch over to another blog.

    Ok back to trying to make this shit Trumpeter kit parts to fucking fit right.

  23. Greg says:

    You have to feel in control of something… How about one’s freedom of speech. You have to feel good about something.. How about the good ol wholesome sanctuary of model building; just like me and Pa’ used to do… See, some things are still sacred. And you Puritan fucks have a bag of beat up assholes for a brain. Maybe you are your own shit as babies. I suggest all those offended go eat a dick up, til ya hickup.

  24. patrick nyquist says:

    Damn….. I thought you fucking with me about tripping on the sidewinder dick head I was going off about last night…..well fuck in a …… we’re cool for sure. Ima gonna paint my Corsair guards red!

  25. Scooter says:

    I won’t comment on the responses to date, other to say, they are all wrong. You have shown us your means of verbal release, from the strictures of your day job. The information interspaced with “nuggets” of verbal diarrhea, are a part of how the blog is constructed. Result? reaction over the verbiage used discounting the nominal subject at hand. So as the cuss-ers and the righteous espouse their views, the readership keeps on climbin’ . Muddle….er…MODEL on

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